I am tossed back and forth on stormy seas.
Buffeted by indecision,
Buoyed up by hope.
Too many winds to follow.
They fight for my attention,
Brewing up a storm in the
In my head.
In my heart.
The mundane and the magical
Both will bring sunshine and clouds
To this beautiful chaos of mine.
My compass spins,
I am directionless,
And full steam ahead.
I am the raging squall.
I am the lull.
I am searching
For a moment of
Inside this invisible chaos.
Sometimes there is beauty here,
I am tired
And searching for an anchor.
It can feel terrible when emotions overwhelm you. When you seem to live in extremes. When bad days feel like the end of everything. When moments of panic feel like they will last forever. When sadness is smothering and you are convinced you won’t feel anything else because how could there possibly be anything else? But feeling everything so keenly also means you love more fiercely, you experience joy more deeply, and when you find peace (and you will) it will resonate truly within you. And even if that peace is just a moment, the memory of it will burn within you, giving you hope that you’ll find it again. So feel what you feel. The good will always follow.
If you find yourself searching for an anchor in times when emotion (or even an absence of emotion) overwhelm you, try grounding yourself in what is real and tangible outside yourself. Make a conscious effort to notice 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can see, 2 things you can physically feel, and 1 thing you can smell. List them out loud or write them down. Anchor yourself in the world.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health then please don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to someone. You are not alone and help is available. By opening up and starting the conversation we can move forward together and look to a mentally healthy future. Below are links to a range of fantastic organisations that can provide information, advice and services.
The Samaritans – http://www.samaritans.org
Mind – http://www.mind.org.uk
Young Minds – http://www.youngminds.org.uk
Papyrus (prevention of young suicide) – https://www.papyrus-uk.org
Self Harm UK – https://www.selfharm.co.uk
Time to Change – http://www.time-to-change.org.uk
Rethink Mental Illness – http://www.rethink.org
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention – https://www.afsp.org
Please do not struggle alone.