I saw this video on the wonderful flow magazine blog and it kind of fitted with a recent recurring train of thought. So I figured I’d share it with you…
THE GAP by Ira Glass from frohlocke on Vimeo.
I used to know exactly what I wanted to do.
I had a plan.
I was completely certain and dedicate hours of work, blood, sweat and tears to achieving the things that would help me get there. I never anticipated it would be easy once I got there. I knew I was choosing something hard. But it is worthwhile. And I cared about it. I still do. But now I’m here, I’m not sure it feels right.
Well damn. What do I do with that?
I don’t regret the choices I’ve made and I’m proud of the things I’ve achieved. But it hasn’t brought me to the place I thought it would.
Increasingly there are parts of myself I wish I’d explored more, avenues I now wonder if I rejected too quickly.
And I ponder – what can I do to change it now?
Some days I feel like I’ve made my choices and should stick with them. Others I feel like I can change them whenever, to whatever I want. I suspect the reality is somewhere in between.
After all I have an incredible life. A privileged life. With amazingly supportive family and friends. A lot of what I imagined for myself, for my life has turned out better than I ever could have dreamed. I have health and wealth and happiness.
And time. I have time.
4 thoughts on “The Not Knowing”
Great video! I’ve been reading an interesting blog lately called Study Hacks (http://calnewport.com/blog/) by this guy who basically argues that too many people don’t feel fulfilled career wise because they worry too much about passion and finding their passion and that actually the only way to have a fulfilling career is to work really hard at something and to hone your craft. I think it’s a really refreshing perspective!
Oh thanks for sharing that I’ll have to have a look. Sounds really interesting. 🙂
You have achieved so much to be proud of already. You have the resources, time and ability to do whatever you want to do and to explore those aspects of your self that you referred to. Don’t worry too much about the destination, Enjoy the journey. Lyfe xxxx
Thank you! 🙂 I do enjoy the journey the vast majority of the time and will continue to do so. I’m not sure there really is one destination – just lots of stops on a meandering path!